Doubt Monster

Once heard a smart frog once say “it’s not easy being green.”

Though I can say that I don’t know what its like to be green. I do know that the going does become a little much to handle.

Been trying to make it a goal to post more on the blog, but truthfully, I was lacking in motivation to do it today. All I could think about was my encroaching bills and growing credit card debt.

Today I’ve just felt fixated on the lack of income and if this whole thing of “chasing my bliss” as a full-time freelance may not have been the right call.

I love the work. I love the multitudes of people I’ve been meeting. This is the first time in my life, over a full range of jobs and education, have I felt like I was actually doing something. Like I found my thing.

I’ve had full-time jobs before and tried doing this on the side, but it never worked out. I just had too much on my plate when I tried to juggle both. But this, what I’m doing now, just feels right.

However, at the end of the day, I need a roof over my head, and my cat needs food, and clients have been few and far between. To be honest, I’m feeling pretty uneasy right now.

Fellow writers out there know the exact feeling I have right now. Where it kind of feels like there is a bottomless pit in your stomach. The doubt monster.

Sorry for the bummer blog post today all but this is a part of it. Being a creative full time. Some days, you just don’t know what tomorrow holds for you.

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