Bought a Time-Machine for $8.99

I was at Harris Teeter the other day (humble brag) on the hunt for some hair conditioner. However, to my horror when I got to the shampoo aisle, I found that they had stopped carrying my brand!

I felt like I was back in school on the school bus trying to find a seatmate after noticing my typical seatmate was absent that day. I slowly walk down the bus aisle weighing my options.

It’s a difficult decision and is not one to take lightly. You know your usual seatmate. You may not necessarily be best friends, but you have an understanding. He gets the window seat Tuesday and Thursday. You Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If someone is sick, they cough into their elbow. If they have a bugger, they wipe it under their side of the seat and not yours.

But I don’t need to explain that significant relationship in a kid’s life.

So there I was. Like my childhood self, I had to pick my seatmate for my hair.

I know my usual conditioner. I know how it gets along with my shampoo. They were the same brand, they complemented each other, and their color palates meshed like no other.

After staring at the conditioner wall for longer then I care to admit, I selected my new seatmate with fingers crossed.

When I got home from the gym that day, it was to wash up. Moment of truth.

I popped the conditioner’s cap and lathered up. Its fragrance filled my nostrils and transported me back to elementary school back in Texas.

I sat behind a girl named Brittany in class, and she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She had long blonde hair and a face full of braces. I knew from the moment we met we were meant to be.

At my school, we had a 20-minute mandatory reading period every day. In this program, you were graded on how many small books you could read in a month and how difficult those books were.

I was having a hard time, so the teacher assigned Brittany to help me with my reading comprehension. That means we got to sit together for a whole 20 minutes every day. I wasn’t complaining.

Smelling this new conditioner reminded of that magical time in my youth of sounding out multiple syllable words with the coolest girl in the world.

Moral of the story: Feel no shame in taking your time selecting your conditioner. Because you can either end up sitting next to the cutest girl in school or next to Jimmy, who doesn’t get personal space and sees nothing wrong with rubbing a bugger on your backpack.