Why You Don’t Owe Anyone Sh*t

My roommate needed me out of the house last night so he could do some adult stuff with his fiancee. So I decided to go see a movie at my local theater.

Hadn’t been in a while, so I was excited! Though, I had no idea what was playing. I looked at the listings and Captian Marvel stood out to me. Not that I’m personally a massive fan of superhero moves, (the genre has been kinda beaten to death at this point) but, being a self-proclaimed feminist, I always love watching a powerful lady beating the crap out of evil-doers.

A brief summary of the plot:

Vers, our protagonist and insomniac, is a kickass warrior that belongs to a squad of other kickass warriors that are charged with kicking the ass of a bunch of shapeshifting goblin looking people.

Spoiling some major plot twists, turns out the goblin people are actually refugees fleeing a tyrannical race of people that Vers’s belongs to. Essentially, Vers’s team are the bad guys, and they have been indiscriminately murdering an innocent race of peoples who just want to be left alone.

Realizing this, Vers’s also recovers her lost memories. Finding out her real name is Carol Danvers and that her team actually kidnapped her from earth.

Totally butchering the plot, but a solid movie and a fun watch.

There was a scene at the end that I absolutely loved.

Carol has a showdown with her longtime mentor/teammate near the end of the film. Up to this point, she has been defeated by this guy in every encounter they have had. During their showdown, her mentor challenges her to hand-to-hand combat. No weapons, just shear fighting prows to prove once and for all who is the better warrior.

He shouts to her repeatedly “Prove yourself to me! Prove to me you can control your emotions and defeat me!”

After he finishes his little speech, Carol just shoots the dude. Knocking him on his butt, defeated.

She approaches him and only says “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”

Love that.

It reminded me so much of my experience growing up. I ALWAYS felt like I owed someone something for merely being alive.

I have had multiple mentors like Carol’s, and they all seemed to share the same sort of arrogance. Rarely did it feel like I was taken under someone’s wing just out of the kindness of their heart. That they did genuinely do it because they wanted to see me achieve or instill any sense of self-worth into me.

I was constantly reminded that I was lucky they felt generous enough to do the right thing, and help someone in need, and always had to prove to them my worth as a human being. Like they needed some sort of return on investment.

There was a shift in my life when I discovered self-worth. That it was ok to be proud of my accomplishments and it was ok to like who I was. When I finally started embracing who I was and befriended myself, the whole game changed.

I started living my life for myself. Not for a selfish asshole or an ungrateful boss. I realized I would never get their approval, and, more importantly, I didn’t freakin need it.

Because being alive and being a human who is genuinely trying to help the world is far more than enough, and I only ever need my own approval.

In other words “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”

**Photo credit Captain Marvel is owned by Marvel**

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