The Tiniest Jedi

[3 Min Read]

“Lord Vader, troopers in hanger 18 are requesting permission to fire.” The internal communications officer reports.

A dark-clad sith lord swivels in his overly-large command chair, “Fire on what?”

The officer clicks a few buttons, and the war room display lights up, revealing five stormtroopers cornering a small brown speck.

The sith lord leans forward in his chair for a better look, “Is that a cockroach?”

“It would appear to be, yes, sir.” Replied the officer

“Do they really-” Vader throws his hands up and leans back in his chair “Sure, why not.”

The communications officer taps a button on his headset “You are cleared to fire. I repeat, clear to fire.”

The screen lights up with the flashes of bright red lasers. Lights so bright the camera is temporarily blinded. Once the onslaught ceases, and the smoke clears, its revealed, not only did the squad of troopers miss their target, they managed to hit every inch of floor around it.

“H-How!” Shouts one of the troopers

“Wait, how small do Jedi’s get again? Is this something to do with the force?” Inquires a separate trooper.

While the armed guards are distracted, the cockroach leaps for the throat of one of the men.

“Oh God! What is it doing to Ricky?”

Stormtrooper Ricky gasps for air, clawing at the bug that has somehow found a way to wrap its legs around his neck.

“Get it off him! Get it off!” The screen lights up again as bright red lasers are fired across the camera’s screen.

Minutes later, the cameras lens manages to regain focus revealing the corpses of all five troopers slain and the cockroach nowhere to be found.

“Well, that’s not good” Comments lord Vader


Meanwhile, back at the rebel camp. A base guard is eyeing the sky through a pair of binoculars

“Hey, Joe. Joe, come here.” He motions his friend over

A tired looking rebel trooper saunters over “What is it Frank?” he yawns

“Joe, get out your binoculars and check out the death star, would you?”

He groans, “Do I have to? Isn’t it depressing enough to know the thing is there?”

“Just do it, trust me.”

Joe sighs and sights his binoculars up to where Frank pointed. He saw plumes of fire exploding out of the sides of the Empire’s ultimate weapon.

“What the hell is going on up there?”

Before Frank could answer his friend, the two witness the death star go still, then explode with the force of a thousand suns. The pair stand silent a moment from shock.

Frank slowly lowered his binoculars and looked to his friend, “Did we just win?”

*Photo credit:*

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