I’ll Put A Spell On You

[3 Min Read]

Caught up in his own thoughts, Dave neglected to look where he was going and bumped into a decrepit old woman with a long crooked nose.

“Oh my gosh!” Dave exclaims  “I’m so sorry, ‘ma’am! Are-“

“Toad!” She screams in his face. The putrid smell of old fish wafted from her breath and smothered his nostrils. “”You dare lay a hand on me, peasant?””

“I am so, so sorry! I was just caught up thinking about this thing-” Dave tried to explain

“Enough of your excuses nave!” She cackled, “Your assault shall not go unpunished!” She withdrew a wand from her sleeve and waved it back and forth in front of him.

“Lady, I can assure you I meant no harm,”

“I said silence!” She screamed once more, “I’m trying to concentrate so I can curse you!” She tapped the wand to her chin “Now where was I? Oh yes! Hokus-pokus and other words too, with this I place a wicked spell on you!” She tapped his nose with her wand

“Behold, you are now cursed! From this day forward, you will hear nothing but compliments from your coworkers, your friends will return your calls, and you will come into unimaginable wealth!” She yells to the sky above her, “Tremble! Tremble in fear before my awesome power!”

Dave blinked, “You said you placed a ‘curse’ on me, right?”

“Don’t bother begging for forgiveness, nave! Once placed, my spell can never be undone!” She laughed maniacally

“But, that all sounds pretty good. I probably ‘shouldn’t be asking, but where does the bad stuff come in?”

She kicked him hard in the shin “Don’t you know to never talk back to a witch? Keep this up, and I’ll be forced to give you the singing voice of an angel!” With that final threat, the small woman tucked her wand back into her sleeve and ran down a nearby ally. Dave could hear her cackle echo off the cement walls.

He clutched his shin and muttered under his breath “Crazy old bat.”

A fancy looking red convertible rolled up on the street next to Dave, “Dave?” Shouted the well-dressed man over the roar of the engine

“Craig?” Dave addressed the driver, “Nice car!”

“Thanks! Say, are you on your way to work?” Craig replied

“Yeah, was just walking.”

“Why ‘don’t you hop in? I’ll give you a lift.”

Dave beamed “Yeah man that would be awesome!” He jumped into the passenger seat and buckled in

“Oh hey, love your shirt today by the way!”

Dave looked down to his stained, covered gray dress shirt, then slowly back down the ally where the crazy woman disappeared and mumbled “Son of a bitch.”

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