Villain of Minor Inconveniences

[4 Min Read]

The skylight above a warehouse suddenly explodes as a three legendary heroes, Strong-Man, Spider-Woman, and Quick-Lad burst onto the scene in a cloud of smoke.

Strong-Man straightens and stands with authority, the giant reflective ‘S’ on his chest glinting in the dim light. “Show yourself, villain! The silent alarm was tripped, we know you’re here!”

Quick Lad does a luscious hair flip, sending his long golden curls cascading down his shoulders. His hair now free of his face, the faster then light boy examines the room and discoverers a door slowly creaking open in the far corner below a neon exit sign. The crack of light from the door partially illuminating a portly flamboyantly dressed man attempting to make a silent escape.

“Not so fast evil-doer!” Quick Lad dashes forward and slams the door shut in his face. “You’re not going anywhere!”

“We’ll see about that you little nerd!” The figure announces in a squeaky little voice then shoves the boy hero to the floor.

Quick Lad shouts “No!” and dramatically falls to the concrete ground.

“Quick Lad!” Spider-Woman shrieks. She digs her eight hairy spider legs into the floor and scurries up the wall the ceiling above.

“You won’t catch me!” The mysterious man runs several feet away from the group before doubling over and clutching his knees. Panting heavily, desperate for breath.

“How about some of this!” Spider-Woman fires a long fluid-like web from her abdomen and sticks the culprit to the wall.

“Oh my, God! This is disgusting!” The perp wiggles in the webbing feebly, “It-Its still warm!”

Strong-Man stands in front of the colorful villain and crosses his arms.

“Fools! Don’t you know who I am? My name is VMI, and I am your worst nightmare!”

“VMI?” Strong-Man scratched his head, his companions joining at his flanks

“Villain of Minor Inconveniences!” VMI cackled venomously, “Or you can call me Frank if you want.”

“Are we supposed to be impressed, Frank?” Spider-Woman scoffs, “Seems we have beaten you hand over fist!”

“Fools! You do not even realize you have already lost!” Frank looked down to Strong-Man from his elevated position, “You! Check your pockets for your house keys. Do it if you think you have the guts!”

Strong-Man felt around his skin-tight leggings, “Huh, where did those go?”

“VMI strikes!” Frank screamed, then turned his devious gaze to Quick-Lad, “You, boy, check the tires on your car and see if they are still as you left them!”

Quick Lad shrugged, “Ok,” then disappeared only to reappear seconds later, “Bad news, gang, all the tires are flat on the Subaru.”

“Damn you, Frank!” Spider-Woman shakes her fist in the portly man’s direction

VMI laughed madly, “None escape me! Think you’ve packed everything for your business trip? Boom! Your files on the company’s financial growth for the past quarter have disappeared. You’ll have to print another copy! Staying at a friend’s place and your phone is about to die? Smack! You forgot to pack your phone charger! Sure you don’t need to do laundry because you’re positive you’ll have enough socks for the next day? Ka-pow! Now you only have a single sock left, and one foot will have to go commando! There is no end to my tyranny! Just try to stop me you pedestrians!”

Strong Man approaches the gloating villain and lands a swift punch between his eyes, knocking him out instantly.

“Damn, that guy’s annoying.” He turns to his companions, “You guys want to get some ice-cream or something?”

“Hell, yeah!” Quick Lad whips out his smartphone from his cargo shorts, “Cars’ out, so I’ll just call a Lyft.”

Enjoy my daily short stories? Consider checking out some of my larger projects like the 6 chapter teaser of my new book ‘The Pit!’

The Pit is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi original novel with a charter driven narrative. Follow Laura, a hot-headed vixen with a mysterious past, Liam, the natural-born leader who is deathly afraid of awkward social situations, Pete, a large intimidating man with a heart of gold, and others as they navigate old America in a supped-up RV!

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