Old “Sea Shells” Announces Retirement

[2 Min Read]

“Hello, and welcome to the nightly news here on the FKE channel.” Greets a man with well-quaffed hair.

“Earlier today, Susan Sanders announces her retirement from her popular seaside shell business after sixty years. Fortune 500 places her net worth upon retirement to be roughly 5.6 billion dollars; contributing much of her success to the popular tongue twister, “She sells sea sells-”

The handsome news anchor clears his throat, “She sells sea SHELLS down by the seashore.” He enunciates loudly, “This is what Miss Sanders had to say about, what historians are calling, ‘the most successful marketing campaign of the past century.’”

The camera hard cuts to an aged well-tanned woman sitting in a tall back chair looking to someone off-screen. “I’d like to thank my parents for naming me, God, and my vast amounts of money.”

The picture shifts back to the grinning news anchor, “More on Miss Sanders and our exclusive interview with her in a moment, but first in unrelated news-”

The news-man shifts his attention to a new camera and gives it a steely glare. “Peter Piper has announced he will be suing Susan Sanders for unauthorized use of, what he is calling, his marketing campaign. More on that after these messages!”

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