[4 Min Read]
A young boy slammed a gavel repeatedly into his mother’s kitchen table. “The auction is in session! I repeat: the auction is in session for who’s going to get me an A on the upcoming test!”
“In exchange for your soul, correct?”A gnarled, red-skinned monster with two large tusks protruding from its bottom lip muttered.
The boy shrugged,“Yeah, sure whatever.”
A creature with seared flesh and half of its cranium missing shoved the other monster away. “Give me that soul, boy!”As it shouted, dozens of maggots dribbled out of its mouth.
The boy crossed his arms and shook his head.“Only the demon with the best offer will get my soul.”
The tusked demon raised its beefy arm,“I’ll not only get you an A on this test, but the next one too!”
His opposition rolled its one eye.“That’s your best? Really Baphomet?” He brushed his shoulder, “Kid, with me, you’ll pass the whole semester without even showing up to class.”
Baphomet saw the sparkle in the boy’s eyes and shoved his adversary out of the way.“You’ll get nothing but lies and disappointment from Culsu. I offer a full-ride throughout school and college!”
The boy shrugged, “That’s pretty good, I guess. Especially in this economy, and in a time when the government has all but abandoned my generation.”
Culsu smacked his crusted, bleeding lips together. “I’ll admit, that’s a pretty good offer, and not one I can provide-”
“So you submit?!”Baphomet pounded his meaty chest with pride.“Victory for the dark one!”
Culsu held up a single bony finger to his opponent’s lips, which then snapped off upon contact and rolled loosely on the ground at their feet.“Not so fast, Baphy. The immortal turned to the child.“You like video games, kid?”
The boy scratched his nose. “Yeah?”
From behind his back, the walking corpse produced a plastic case with elaborate colorful artwork drawn across the front and back. “How would you like the new ‘Shooty-Mik-Bang-Bang’ game before all your little friends?” A sinister smile stretched across Culsu’s pock-riddled face as he observed the youth’s sudden wide-eyed expression.
“’S-Shooty-Mik-Bang-Bang’? That’s not supposed to come out till next year…” The boy desperately reached out for the plastic case, only to see his stubby arms to be thwarted by Culsu’s superior reach.
The demon shook his remaining index finger. “Video games are only for good boys and girls who eternally surrender their soul to Uncle Culsu.”
The boy shook his hands furiously in the air, trying with all his might to snatch the esteemed prize that dangled just above his head. “Fine-Fine you win! Just gimme gimme gimme!”
Culsu released his grip on the case and watched as the boy swiftly snatched it mid-air and clutched it to his chest. “YES!” The boy shouted and looked up to the animated body. “According to Gam3r N3ws W33k, it’s the exact same game as the ones before it, but this time there’s a secret big head mode!”
Culsu stood at the boys’ side and held his bony hand on the youths head. “Looks like its another loss for the dark one, Baphy. Better luck next time.” A black hole suddenly appeared behind the pair. Culsu winked to Baphomet just before dozens of flesh dripping arms wrapped around him and the boy. With a maniacal cackle from Culsu, the pair were dragged into the Never-Never forevermore. All that was left behind was a patch of scorched carpet and Culsu’s remaining eye, which fell out just before he and the boy were taken away.
Baphomet shuffled his cloven hooves along the ground and plucked the sticky eye from the fluffy beige carpet. “Poor kids, if only they had the parents to teach them proper priorities in their life. Then the choice would have been clear.” He crushed the eye in his hand, white puss rolling down his forearm as his fist shook with rage. “Another taken by clever marketing schemes and cheesy gimmicks.”
The demon dropped to his knobby knees in exasperation and held his hands dramatically to the sky, “Damn you corporate America!”
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