The Real Horror

[2 Min Read]

A man stirs from a medically induced coma, groggy and incoherent. He casts his bleary vision; first over the largely featureless cream-colored room, then over his own body, finding it covered in bandages.

“Good, you’re awake!” A man in a white coat springs to his feet from a chair sat in the corner of the room.

“Wh-Where am I?” The wounded man mumbles through labored breath

“You’re in the hospital, my friend.” The doctor smiles warmly down at his patient. “That battle with the werewolf took it out of you, I’m afraid. You barely managed to snatch your life from the literal jaws of death!”

The patient relaxed his shoulders and dropped his head back onto the pillow propping him up. “So that’s it then? It’s finally done.”

The doctor clutched the man’s chart tightly to his chest. “Yes, well. I have good news and bad news. Good news, you killed the werewolf and stopped the horrific murders running across the border.”

The MD drew a sharp breath. “Bad news is, you were technically in America when you succumbed to your wounds.” 

Not seeing a reaction from the patient, he elaborated, “It means you were out of the jurisdiction of Canadian Universal Health Care.”

The warrior’s eyes shot open and stared at the doctor. “What?!” He could hear the pace of his heart monitor’s beeping rapidly increasing next to him.

“Y-You have insurance right?” The doctor sheepishly hid his face behind his clipboard

The man stretched his crippled arms to the sky and screamed “Noooooo!!”

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