What Monster Hunters Fear Most

[3 Min Read]

A group of rugged-looking men sat around the fiery hearth and clapped each other’s backs for another job well done.

“Then Davet came around and stabbed the bastard between the scales!” Exclaimed one of the grizzled men. “Bastard didn’t see that one coming, did he?” The table of rowdy men entered into another bout of laughter and drunken slurs.

One man who bore a distinctive looking scar across his cheek stood and held his flagon proudly. “To the fearless crew of the Star-born militia! May the monster bastards think twice before laying a claw on any of our women!”

Hear-Hear!” Shouted the men before downing another pitcher of the tavern’s finest ale.

“What a load of bollocks.” Shouted a voice, stabbing the heart of the men’s merry-making. Foam still lingering in their beards, they snapped their necks in the direction of their mocker and find a woman dressed in simple clothing staring back at them with crossed arms.

“You got something to say, miss?” Growls a crusty looking dwarf

The woman leaned against a large beam and glared at them. “You men sit there and claim to be afraid of nothing. What if I were to tell you I’d bring you all to your knees with one word?”

The dwarf slams his hardwood flagon on the table, splashing sticky ale all over his arm. “You hard of hearing? We ain’t afraid of nothin and nobody, let alone a damned word!”

“Is that so?” She flashes a coy smile, “Menstruation.” She says simply

The table of hunters suddenly stiffen and go cold. The dwarf’s eyes widen, “W-What did you say?”

She placed her hands on her hips and shouts, “Are you the one that is hard of hearing, mate? I said menstruation!”

The dwarf’s eyes bashfully dart around the tavern, “Not so loud, woman!”

She walks closer to the table. Her smiled growing wider with every step. “What, you getting uncomfortable you daft sausage? Don’t like that word? Knowing about us ladies being on the rag? Riding the crimson tide? Wearing the red bandage of courage?”

The dwarf shakes his stubby arms in front of him, “Miss! Please stop!”

“Surely you’ve heard of our time of the month! Us checking in at the red roof in! Visiting Aunt Flow!”

The stumpy warrior clutches his ears and plants his forehead on the table. “Please, please stop!”

Only inches away from the table she stands and smiles proudly. “Ok, I’ll stop.”

The men unclasp their ears and breathed sighs of relief just as the woman leans in and whispers. “Vagina.”

The tough band of monster hunters leap from the table in fear and scramble through the fragile wooden tavern door.

The elder woman stood behind the bar laughed loudly as she polished the last of the glasses. “Good job, Rikiya!”

“Learned it from you, Mom!” The woman states as they high-five over the bar.


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